From the Weird Spam Dept.

I'm sure we've all seen our share of weird/sick/funny spam, but I just received one with a subject line that I just don't understand:

If you think your penis looks like a sponge,

What?!? What the hell does that mean? Are there men out there that actually look down and think, "You know, I'll bet I could wipe down the sink with it..." Does the author really expect men to read that and thank their lucky stars that their suffering may finally be over?

Wow. I don't really have anything else to say. I guess now I have to decide whether to open it. My curiosity is running wild.

Update

I couldn't resist, I just had to open it. Amazingly, I found this gem inside:

Your wife prefers your dog’s penis to yours?

Bwaahahahahaa!! Whew! Looks like I dodged a bullet there, my dog doesn't have a penis.

From the Tradition is for Suckers Dept.

So I was thinking about what our little boy would call The Wife^TM and I once he's able to talk. Mom/Mommy Dad/Daddy just seems so normal and boring. I wanted something that was different, something that would make his friends say "Who?" I wrestled with this for a while, and then it hit me: StrongDad and The Teat! It's perfect! And the best part is, I can talk in that strange throaty voice.

"You just wait until StrongDad gets home!"

"I don't know, go ask The Teat."

Brilliant! The only downside is, we'll have to rename the dog Trogdor...

From the Scott Hamilton is a Midget Dept.

I didn't change the channel after American Idol, allowing me to see the beginning of Fox's newest blunder, Skating With Celebrities. First, I was surprised to hear Summer Sanders was a co-host with Scott Hamilton. I mean, after the skating is over, are they going to melt the rink and ask her to dive in? Then, I actually looked at the television screen - Summer Sanders dwarfed Scott Hamilton! I had no idea he was so tiny. Even Debbie Gibson towered over him.

Unfortunately, they don't have the obvious skater/celeb matchup - Brian Boitano and Bronson Pinchot. Or something.

All Hail the Return of The Tit!

Hmmm... maybe I should pick a different nickname, perhaps The Willow. The Tit might be a little too provocative for some tastes. It's funnier though.

Anyway, it's been about a month since I lamented about my lost nuts, but I think I have a valid excuse. During the week I am pretty much bushwhacked by late evening. I hate sitting in traffic, so to avoid the beltway bumper-to-bumper boogie, I'm up at 4:30 and out the door by 5:45. Actually, it's turned out to be a pretty good deal for me (now I ast ya). I'm working by 6:30, it's nice & quiet for a couple hours before most other people show up, and I'm out the door by 3:00, home by 3:45.

Aside from my early-bird schedule, there is of course young Aidan. Jaime is nice enough to get up with him during work nights and let me sleep, but I usually wake up anyway, if only for a short time.

So, as I was saying, things are starting to settle down in some semblance of normalcy, so expect bigger and better things from The Tit. (Yeah, I just like that better - juvenile humor isn't just for kids.)